At first, they will convince you that they are over her. She broke his
heart, shattered it into a million little pieces, and he can’t forgive
her for it. So you will convince yourself that he cannot still be in
love with someone who hurt him like that. You know that you are better
for him, and he knows that you are better for him. So you dive into each
other, each of you hoping that this new relationship will help him
forget about her.
You will have fun together. You will go on dates
and laugh and meet his friends and he’ll meet yours and you’ll get drunk
and you’ll think that maybe, just maybe, this could work out the way
you want it to. But the only time he’ll get even close to opening up to
you is when he is drunk or high, and even then, he only lets you in the
slightest bit.
You begin to want more. You knew you would have
to wait for him to come around, but months have passed and everything is
still superficial; something is just missing. You long to heal his
broken heart. You thought he would be ready to move on by now, but he’s
just not. The rare times her name comes up in conversation, you see the
brief pang of pain flutter in his eyes. His hurt hurts you. What hurts
even more is knowing that he wants to be over her just as badly as you
do, but something keeps him holding on. Perhaps there was no closure;
perhaps he is waiting for her to come crawling back to him; perhaps it
is just his pride that keeps him from going back to her. You are just
the placeholder until he decides what he wants to do.
His emotional
distance makes you dig your heels in even harder as you resist the fact
that this man is so close to being yours—that if you had met at a
different time or place or universe, things may have been different. All
you want to be is enough, but you will never be enough because you will
never be her. And no matter how good of a person you are, or how
compatible you are, or how well you treat him or how much you make him
laugh, he will never love you the way he loves her.
So, after what
feels like a lifetime of stubborn attempts to try and win over this
man’s heart, you will finally begin to accept the truth: he is still in
love with his ex, and you can’t change that. It will hurt. You will kick
yourself a thousand times for trying to mend his broken heart, for
getting involved with him when you should have known better.
Maybe
he will get back together with her one day and they will live happily
ever after, or maybe he will move on from her on his own terms in a few
weeks, or months, or years… and maybe then you will get a second chance
with him when the timing is finally right.
As they say, the two things you need for love are chemistry and timing. But timing is a bitch.
When You Fall For Someone Who’s Still In Love With Their Ex
Tuesday, 3 April 2018
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