She gave me an opportunity to change things, my life especially, and I took it. Call me cheap, call me selfish, call me whatever, but if you’ve been through what I have been through, you’ll know that I did what was right for everyone.
I see myself as the sacrificial lamb led to slaughter, for the happiness of those I truly love. I consider it a worthy course. Maybe I could have done things differently, maybe there was a better way, but now, that’s all there will ever be- uncertainties.
Somehow, along the course of life, I keep learning more about myself, and I realize that in life, there should never be regrets, just a lifelong appreciation of the choices I make. And so, I don’t regret that I left him.
I now realize that he was the best thing that ever happened to me. But then there was Seun. I know they say that love proves itself most when there are challenges and trials. I quite understand that fact. But Seun was not just a trial or a challenge, she was a reality. How do you cope or deal with reality?
My elder brother once told me, “Never make someone your priority if you are just an option”. It all makes perfect sense now. of course Tony loved me and maybe he still does, and I love him too, but so does Seun, maybe even more than I do, considering how hard she fought just to keep him. One only does that for someone they truly love.
The fact that I met him first and Seun just happened along the way, did not count for much. She loved him and was ready to shed blood to have him.
I was not ready to do any such thing; so when she came to my flat that evening with a cheque for 2 million naira and a flight ticket to the UK and a student visa plus admission letter to the Imperial College in London, I figured it was a better option to dying for the man I love.
Again, they say in every fight, it is the one that is willing to die that wins. Seun was willing to die and I was not; I guess that means she loved him more.
Two weeks later I was away from yesterday and into today. Two weeks later I walked away from the man of my dreams and into the life of my dreams. But can there be a life of my dreams without the man off my dreams?
Should I be thankful to Seun for giving me this new life or should I hate her for taking Tony away from me? I may never find an answer to this question. I like my life right now.
Why not? I am studying business administration in one of the most prestigious schools on earth. I earn much more than what many graduates earn, even as an undergraduate. What can I say, my life is just sweet.
But that’s all that it is- just sweet. Perhaps it could have been more, maybe it still can, my God I want it to be more. Surely, I like the parties, the clubs, the girls night-outs, the shopping and all the other things that come with my status now. But I want much more. Maybe I don’t deserve it, may be I do, but it does not cost anything to desire it.
Like hell I miss Tony. So many times I’ve thought of picking up the phone to call him, I still have his number on speed dial even though he’s changed his number twice. I’ve been keeping an eye or two on him since I left. I always never have enough courage to call him. What would I say?
He probably thinks I’m dead. Maybe I am, the way I feel right now I probably am dead. It was cruel the way I left him. He did not deserve to be treated that way. He was a great guy, nice, caring and always very sweet.
He never forgot my birthday nor anyone else’s in my family. He took me out on weekends and took me shopping severally. He even bought me my first laptop. I remember very vividly. It was valentine’s day and I was feeling very unlike myself, getting all cranky and touchy.
He sent me his usual rise and shine text message by 7 a.m, ending it with words I knew he meant, ‘I love you’. I did not reply. He called me a few hours later and I did not spare him from my misdemeanor. I so wanted to be mad with him even when he did nothing wrong. I guess I disliked the fact that he was such a great guy. I wanted him to err a little, he did not have to be so perfect.
That evening, after I had turned down his invitation to dinner, a parcel came in for me. I knew immediately it was from him, but I was not expecting it.
‘A parcel for Miss Maggie’, I heard the mail man’s voice from the living room where I was seated watching my favourite TV program. I had calmed down by then, so I received the parcel from my younger sister. ‘Here, this just came in for you’, she said.
‘Thanks dear’, I replied.
‘It’s quite heavy, she continued, ‘What’s inside?’
‘I don’t know’.
‘It’s from Tony right?’
‘Yes, I think so’.
‘Well then, go ahead, open it’. I tore at the beautiful paper wrap that covered a big rectangular box.
‘It’s a laptop!’ I exclaimed with much joy. My phone rang before I was even done unpacking the content of the parcel. It was Tony. ‘I hope you like it’, he said.
‘Yes I do. I love it and I love you too. Thank you’.
That was three years ago. I have changed laptop twice since then, but I still remember how I cherished the one he got for me then. It really meant a lot to me then.
I’ve been away for two years now and I have had enough time to consider many things. My choices and my actions most especially. I now see that it was all my fault. I am not talking about taking Seun’s offer, no, I’m talking about the day she came into our lives and tore us apart.
To be continued
By Scopeman (courtesy naijastories.com)
It's A Love Story: Part One
Saturday, 10 November 2018